How to Navigate Bad Times

Welcome

This is a blog about my "adventures" in surviving the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune," as a sane and whole person.  OK, my family may not think I'm totally sane, but they are very proud of me, which means they still claim me!

Having said that, there are a couple of posts that will introduce me to you and will let you know what to expect and what not to expect.  In addition there are some basics, that would be very helpful to go through first, and then a post on how this blog is organized, so that you can get most of the material you need as clearly and organized as you can.  Also a group of resource blogs that will be updated as more becomes available.  One more category, Emergencies for when you've got the "mean reds" really badly and need an immediate "fix".

I hope you'll take part, or just follow along.  You can comment anonymously, and I think my email is here - if not it's on either my design site or my underwater photography site.  Sharing your experiences not only makes those experiences easier to withstand and survive (they get aired out), but also sharing enables others to understand that they are not alone.

In addition, check out the download page.  It's getting a little full, so I've divided it up into sections.  This is meant to be a index for ideas and "jump starts" to get you going in the right direction.

I love hearing comments and stories of how you are doing.  Also feel free to ask questions.  I try to write about pertinent ideas, feelings and helpful techniques that will move you toward the fruition of your goals, but like to hear where you all are with your progress.

Enjoy.  Claire

Been absent, but active

I haven't posted here in a while, and have been active - which is the next step.

At one point when you are starting a change in your life, which means you are realigning your goals toward your dreams...IOW, empowering yourself to transform your dream into reality.  This is really big stuff, and requires a completely different mindset.

That's where all this "ask, believe, receive" comes from. (Matthew, Mark, John)

The very first thing you have to do is ask.  This means you have to get straight about what YOU really want, where you really want to go, what you really want to be, what you really want to have.

The next thing you have to do is believe.  This means you believe that you can do this.  This means that sometimes, this goes against what may appear to be reality.  This is the Einsteinian part of all this...Einstein said that time is relative...everything has already happened to us, we just don't know it.  That sounds like a play on words but it's really not.  This is also what that Leap of Faith is all about.   This is also the Leap of Faith part.  You have to have faith and believe it so strongly, that no matter what mayhem maybe appearing around you, you believe it.  (There's a personal anecdote here at below the line at the bottom, to illustrate this.)

This gets into how sometimes we can get so beat down by circumstances that we let those circumstances take control instead of us taking control of our circumstances. 

But once you have done this, and gotten your head straight, so to speak, that's not the end of this.  The next part can be verbalized and labeled many ways, but basically it is action.  You must have your head straight before you begin the action part but you must have the action.  You can not go out flailing around trying to do this or that, just to take "any" kind of action.  Your action must be specific, sure and dynamic.  You must take that believe, vision, energy, passion and direct it into action.  Simply because having the good mindset is not enough. 

This action is different from action you have taken before that has been so fraught with failure.  This action is different because it is backed up by YOUR passion, YOUR desire, YOUR belief...that is what makes this so different.

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Toward that end, there is a wonderful video posted by Henry Cloud.  It is on Facebook - I know you have to know your settings, and once you do, then it's safe (and don't join any of those Aquarium or Farm games - they're the ones infiltrating your files to find out more info about you).  Once you're on Facebook, or if you already are, then you can "friend" Henry Cloud (and I'd friend John Townsend too), and poof, periodically these little LPV's (low-production videos appear).  This latest one, Motivation, is a gem.  Henry goes through this whole process from asking, believing to action and draws all of it together in a meaningful and smooth way that makes so much total sense.

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OK so where are we on this great trek.  Hopefully you've learned something with my little missals here, but also it has caused you to explore outside where you originally thought there were possibilities.  Also this has given you the strength, faith, motivation and clarity to step outside your sphere of knowledge and comfort and explore the world and its possibilities.

The world is your oyster.

Update - June, 2010

I haven't posted here in a while, mostly cause I've been busy.  Busy with new customers, new venues to practice my talents and skills, and busy with life and living it.

This is what happens when things are put into perspective.  And by that I mean put into a positive perspective. 

The very first place to start is with your thought;  with your thinking.  So many times, especially now that I have not only the knowledge but the experience of seeing for myself that this works, I see so many people, who all they need is that positive attitude.

But it's really more than just a positive attitude, it's an obsessive positive attitude, an attitude that won't be side-tracked by one bad happening after another.  This sounds a little (OK a lot) illogical, but it's true.  And this doesn't mean that you're denying they happen - it's a little hard to do that.  What it does mean is that you integrate and go on. 

You go on thinking and acting in a positive way....ask yourself:  If I had everything right now, how would I be acting;  how would I be thinking;  how would I be feeling. 

I think one of the best ways to do this is to track back to a time when you felt like you had everything, and think how you acted, thought and felt.  Bring that time to the future and start acting, thinking and feeling that way.  That's the best way to start that positive feeling.

And this positive feeling multiplies

Now if you're at a standstill, or you feel as though you're stuck, trying jump-starting yourself. 

How?

Try doing something totally different; or re-read some favorite books, articles, biographies; go back to square one;  go back to some favorite quotes, scriptures or sayings that you have collected.  If you haven't done this, to go back to - do it now.  Pick out somethings new to read or refer to.

The important thing to remember here is to be positive.

I also encourage you to think outside the box - now this doesn't mean orbiting Mars or any such thing, but it does mean trying something a little outside your comfort zone - take a whole day 5-6 mile hike;  spend the night outside in your yard in a tent;  go to a concert you've never been to before but wanted to attend by yourself.  Only you know what is outside your comfort zone (without endangering yourself), and try something like this.

Another aspect of this I like to remember is that while you are in the very darkest times, it's often helpful to - for lack of a better word - compartmentalize.  This is an art by some very powerful and prosperous people.  While one part of their lives seem to be drowning, they work and focus their efforts in another part.  Pretty soon that "drowning" part sorts itself out and starts swimming again.  This is very helpful, cause often it can be that drowning part that brings a whole person down, unless you have the ability to focus on other areas and keep yourself above water.  Think of this like a boat that has separate compartments, and if one has a whole or starts sinking, it is just sealed off either till the boat gets into part, or they can pump the water out.  Either way the whole boat doesn't sink.

Now in the future after you are on an "even keel" you will want to sort out what happened, to prevent it from happening again, but while the event is occurring, do not let your focus being that drowning/draining/sinking event/part of you.

Most of all - do not loose your focus - your focus on the positive.  There are so many methods and ways to do this, and particularly now - use the internet as a means of focusing.

I will post here probably irregularly, and I will keep these posts available, as I realize we are all in different phases of making our lives more of what we want them to be for us.  My problem is that, quite frankly, my life is turning into exactly what I wanted, and I'm busy living it now.

I want to pass on that not only is this possible, but I'm living it.  I can see the end of the abyss-tunnel and it is an opening, and it is coming out just where I wanted.

Where is that?  I'm turning into exactly the person I wanted to be - open, approachable, but with clear boundaries, and the aura that you can not and do not want to mess with me.  I'm teaching and empowering my students to realize their dreams (that's a mouthful and one of my main goals).  I have the respect of my piers (another thing that was vital for me).  I am well on my way to financial prosperity and beyond the security that I thought was possible.

I'm living proof that this method is not only possible but it works.  Stay with it and remember that you are a child of God and that He only wants to bring you what you want - you just have to believe.

Just imagine

Just imagine what would happen if you felt really good.  You felt as thought something really special has happened to you - completely out of the blue.

Don't feel that way?  How do you get there?

One great way is to think back to a time when this happened to you.  You received a gift...a prize...an award that was completely unexpected.

What was it?  Think back to how you felt when that windfall came your way!

Capture that and remember it over and over.  Now translate that to today.  You're about to receive a windfall and it's just about to come your way, but it's going to be out of the blue and completely unexpected.

Put yourself in that joyful experience and re-experience it again.

That's the feeling you want and that's the feeling you want to tap into.

Now go put on your memory cap and think back to that great time that caused you to feel really blessed.

Traveling on Planet Earth

Today, at 6:30 a.m. (CST),  I have been traveling on this planet for 6 decades.  I feel so fortunate to have led the life I have led and although I would have done some things differently, wouldn't we all, I'm basically OK with my path.  I'm not perfect by any means, and probably could have made some smarter decisions along the way, but for the information I had at the time of the decisions, I did pretty well.

I've had a lot of ups and downs - something I have always striven not to have, so that's an area that needs some work.  But I have met them all with a good attitude.  A great deal of this came from my attending a religiously based school which gave me a very solid foundation in the Bible, faith and God.

I have learned a lot and am still learning.  I'm most proud that at my age I haven't stopped being actively engaged in life in that I meet my challenges head on.

I'm very thankful to have had some great equipment along the way - a high energy level and multi-talented.  Fortunately God gave me these to succeed, and I sure needed them!

I'm also very thankful for the path God laid before me.  There have been some major hurdles, but some pretty amazing things have happened as a result.  From my dual cancer diagnoses to financial ups and downs have come the formation of my own companies, appreciation of life and the power of God, prayer, faith and most of all belief. 

So just as much as my God-given gifts, I am most thankful for my faith.  For it is this, that has enabled me to be the person I always wanted to be:  approachable, giving, respected, admired, mentorable (is that a word, oh well, it is here) and most of all able to love and be loved.  We all want to be effective and safe in this world, and through my faith, this is exactly how I feel.

Some of my fav links

There is no "link" page on here, so here are some of my favorites:

Notice the menu on the left where you can do passage, keyword or topical look ups.  You can also select which Bible version.  This little site is really powerful and very useful.  I use it for links (specific scripture, etc.) all the time.

Another favorite link is Pray as you go:

This is so wonderful on your iPod or iPhone, but you don't have to have this to listen to these little gems.  This site also has the background on the music.  There are daily (Mon - Fri) podcasts which are wonderful for first-of-the-morning putting your head in a meditative and prayer state.  It's a calm, gentle way to start the day.  They are about 11-15 minutes long.

Final Chapter - Centering and Grounding

So the big payoff here is being able to stop the fear and intimidating demons right when they start - not by "thinking" them away or wishing them away, but by clear definitive, concrete steps that you can physically do.

But that's not all you can do.

It's interesting to look at this process from a completely different point of view. 

Praying is a meditative and relaxing process.  First you get yourself into a quiet and usually private space (a church, chapel, prayer room) and start relaxing and meditating and praying.  This very process can stop that fear.  The breathing is an extra oomph that will emphasize what the relaxing and praying is doing.

Almost to a one, the meditative and relaxing tapes and processes I've listened to have the white light or glowing stream above the head filling the body.  It's very interesting to think of this as the Holy Spirit filling your body.  It's one of my most favorite places to be - with the Holy Spirit filling me up with energy, hope, positive expectations, ideas, and most of all enjoying the present.

Think about these feelings and then how fear makes you feel and you can see the positive and extraordinarily miraculous change that can happen not only in your head, but in your body as well.

There are a myriad of relaxation and meditative techniques out there, and in those, prayer has to be included.  There is also an abundance of scripture that can help you remain focused and at peace while you are tackling the wild world day by day.  For me, sometimes scripture can be the very extra that you need to get you through these tough, stressful times.

Here are some of my favorite scriptures:

• Fear not, for I am with you;  Be not dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  ~ Isaiah 41:10
• He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength ~ Isaiah 40:29
• For assuredly, I say to you if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, "move from here to there," and it will move;  and nothing will be impossible for you. ~ Matthew 17:20
• God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. ~ 1 Corinthians 14:33
• The peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:7
• They will life you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  (For) are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?  ~ Psalm 91:12 & Hebrews 1:14
• He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will rest in the shadow of the almighty.  (And) "because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him, I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;  I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him." ~ Psalm 91:1 & Psalm 91:14-15
• You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. ~ Matthew 5:14-16
• For He Himself has said,  "I will never leave you nor forsake you.  The Lord is my helper;  I will not fear. What can man do to me?"  ~ Hebrews 13:5-6
• I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears, Amen. ~ Psalm 34:4

All of these mean so much and are so full of a heartwarming, comforting and empowering messages, that it can be as should be, very intoxicating - being in the presence of God and having the Holy Spirit close to you can be so comforting that it allows all of us to withstand and endure hardships beyond our wildest dreams, and without which there wouldn't even be a chance of survival!

More on Centering and Grounding

So what's so important about centering and grounding and why is it important to know about it and practice it?

Allowing your mind to be concentrated enough to focus on your goals is key to preventing scattered-brain, unfocused, disjointed, and then spiraling out of control.  And any of you who have been through tough, stressful, trying times, know what I'm talking about...there always seems to be the demons knocking at the door trying to drive you out of your mind with fear and intimidation.

Fear and intimidating will kill anything positive.

Fear will take away any good energy in a split second.

Fear will remove you from the place you want to be into a dark abyss that is never-ending.

Fear is something you need to get away from quickly, and it can overcome you quickly if you let it.

The purpose here is to arrest it before it gets a start.

Fear is like a horribly addictive drug...what if's, shoulda's, oughta's, coulda's and uh-ohs are not going to give you the results you want.

So how do you get out of this?

Practice some quick and easy techniques.  Practice, practice, practice.

Here's a typical outline for meditation:

1. Start breathing deeply - into your stomach (not your chest) and allow your stomach and diaphragm to move...we want your body to move so your breath can feel your core.  You should be sitting down or laying down.
2. Concentrate on breathing for a couple of minutes - in and out calmly, slowly and deeply - at least 10 deep breathes.
3. Start relaxing from the top of the body to the bottom - head, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, diaphragm, pelvis, thighs, legs, feet.
4. Now let your body sink even further into the chair or chaise or bed.
5. Picture a white light or white flowing substance above your head, and it is going to move like a thick rich liquid through you body, starting with your head, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, diaphragm, pelvis, thighs, legs, feet.  It's going to fill all these areas and make your whole entire body glow from within when each part is filled.
6. Now think of the specific goals, desires you want to accomplish - health, wealth, friendship, purpose, whatever it is.
7. Allow yourself some time to just float with what you have accomplished and congratulate and acknowledge what you have done - in this session.
8. Close the session by gently returning to either wake up or drift off to sleep.

That's it.  Doesn't this sound just dreamy - OK bad joke - but I love doing this, and it usually takes about 15 to 30 minutes.

From these steps you can even make your own meditation tape/mp3 and have it say exactly what you want.

There are some other helpful techniques tomorrow.

Centering and Grounding

Centering and grounding are two vital techniques used toward this process of focusing on your goals and achieving them...blossoming in difficult times  - BDT!!!

I talk a lot about the spiritual process here.   However, centering and grounding are techniques are more physical and lend themselves to putting us all in a place where we can be more spiritual and meditative.

Centering and grounding are terms that refer to the process as a result of relaxation and meditative techniques.  They are not the end result, but like meditation and relaxation lead toward clearly focusing on your goals.

Centering refers to keeping your focus toward the center of your soul and spirit, while grounding allows you to remain calm even in the most difficult circumstances. 

Centering is focusing on that calm center part of your experience.  Getting in touch with that calmness that lies at the center.  We each have this - I call it the God in all of us.  It is our sanctum sanctorum where no one but God and you exist.  It is the closest thing to heaven on Earth that we can have.

Grounding is more physical - it's literally remaining rooted and unflappable while the wind is at tornado speeds.  The best way to describe this is that man is the bridge between the physical and metaphysical.  We can exist in both planes, whereas thought can not be physical and deed can not be metaphysical, but with man, thought & deed can be one.  But as this conduit, we can not be disconnected from either...we must remain grounded while we are dreaming, or we are out of balance.  But this is God's purpose for us - to constantly remain in balance while trying to balance two dichotomous forces.

You can begin to get an idea of how hard this is, but with practice and information, it is very possible.  It doesn't require a PhD from Harvard or Oxford (do you get PhD's in Oxford - oh well, for now, let's just say you do!!!)

But it requires will and resolve and with practice you can get very good at this.

Tomorrow I'll do some more explanation and then some practice exercises.

Thinking outside your normal zone

This seems so normal, and yet in our day to day existence, it can be very threatening feeling and just downright scary;  actually it's more like scaring the daylights out of you.

But we never seem to step out and do what we never thought we could without this thinking outside your normal zone. 

Not only does it make for thinking and doing in a different way, but it becomes very empowering. 

It's important to sit back sometimes and move away from the daily routine and concerns, and think about what you've accomplished and what all you've done.  There are two things that can help get your mind in the right place when you do this:

1. being in a thankful mood, and
2. using calming and relaxing techniques to get centered and grounded.

This "thankfulness" mode is so interesting, cause it not only reminds us of what all we've accomplished, but reminds us of what all we have.  This is certainly not to invoke or infer that we shouldn't want more or we shouldn't want to strive for more, it's only to remind us that we have come a long way and to remember that we are all on a path.  It also helps us to be more introspective which lends toward grounding and centering.

It is also a process that enables us to be in a better frame of mind to concentrate on what we want.  I know that sounds dichotomous, but it really is true.  Being thankful, takes all the fear and foreboding out of our lives, and puts us in a more open and positive mind set.

Once we are free of that fear and intrepidity, we can trek down those roads into areas and parts of our lives that we never thought we had, much less could actually live in and do!

Forever

Too long it's been since I've posted.  I suppose this is what happens when things pick up. I have manifested what I wanted with one aspect of my life which has led me to manifest with another aspect of my life - the more favorite part. 

Why do we always wait to do the most fun stuff for last?

That will be for another post, but that's what has happened.  All my life I've wanted to be an artist and now I have finally given myself permission to do that.  To devote my life to my art and not only enjoy it, but hopefully empower others and pass it on to others the way it was passed on to me.

So I have been busy with that. 

The good thing about realizing your manifestations is that you get to enjoy the benefits and the rewards of your "work" - if you want to cal it work.  For me, my work now is like playing, and my time off is like dreaming.  Can life really be this fun?  Is it even supposed to be that fun?

I grew up thinking that work was work and play was play and play couldn't even be contemplated without work being completed, and completed well.  This made me just a little on the too-responsible side of the scale, and there was very little play or if there was it was usually play someone else picked out for me.

I think if I were to give a graduation speech or even a "going to college" speech to a youngster today it would be:  Figure out what you love to do and do it!  Sounds too simple, but there it is.

Course, figuring out what we want to do can be complicated, and then going after it may involve all sorts of hang-ups, but once those are worked through, Katie bar the door.  The fun and the good times do roll!

But while all this hullabaloo has been going on, I've returned back so some original reading I did a while back when I first started on this quest.

This book is short, to the point, and very pragmatic, which I enjoyed immensely.  It talks about a subject that is very abstract and hard to describe, and yet the author does so with economical words and thinking.  I enjoyed it very much and look forward to re-reading it over and over.

I've put it here for download.  It is "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace Wattles.  What impresses me most about the book is the simple explanation of the author of some of the most amazingly ethereal thoughts and concepts in the book.  

Reading it the first time is a real joy, but re-reading it, especially after some time has passed, is equally illuminating. 

There's nothing secretive or subversive about owning this book.  It's more or less in the public domain and can be downloaded in any number of places on the internet.

It's worth a quick read.