How to Navigate Bad Times

Believing

Believing!

Now doesn't that sound easy?  Everyone knows what it means...

From Dictionary.com.....to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so.

OK - so that doesn't sound that easy.  It's always the really simple stuff that turns out to be the hardest stuff to do.

Be Prepared

No this isn't a Nostradamus quatrain.  Get ready for a wild ride!

I know I just couldn't resist it one more time...Betty is so much fun!

But it is going to be a bumpy ride, and it's going to be shockingly enlightening. 

Be prepared for some jaw-dropping moments.

Be prepared to be shocked and awed (and it' won't be that brave US Army!) - it's going to be the shock and awe you feel from watching God enter and manage your life.

Be prepared to be open to all sorts of new ways to think and to receive.

Emergencies

For crying out loud....the whole world is falling in - what in the world to do?

You have to pay bills or just do the regular monthly accounting - oh boy, you get to see how much $$$ you don't have!  OK, it's not as fun as it used to be.  OK it was never fun, but you gotta do it.

You have to go to the bank (that won't lend $$$ to General Motors) and ask for an extension on your loan.

You get fired (if you haven't been already)

You come home and the roof has fallen in and need it repaired instantly.

You find out something weird is growing out of your left ear, and your insurance coverage just went south with that job you just had.

You've been on your umpteenth job interview and nothing open, nothing will be open....ever...for the rest of time...who do you think you are to be looking for a job?..can't you do something more constructive?....etc!

You're totally inundated - all around you is falling and more seems to be aimed right at you.

You're panicked and it's normal to feel panicked during these times.  But OK it's normal - how do you get out of that panicked state.  You do not want to stay here. 

I repeat:  YOU DO NOT WANT TO STAY IN THIS MENTAL STATE!  

Got that!  OK Good

OK - hopefully that was a good example of what I mean by Emergencies...these are brought on by actual or not actual events and can be either classified as fear or anxiety.  What's the difference?

Fear is brought on by a specific situation, person or event. 

Anxiety is brought on by the memory or feeling, but not necessarily something specific.

What do you do?

First Thing:  Thought Stoppage:  Stop thinking those demon/downer thoughts....you know the ones that tell you how stupid, ugly and/or poor you are and will be forever. 

Just stop it.

STOP IT....NOW!!!

OK - now we've got that straight?!!!

Next Thing:  Start repeating some positive mantras/blessings/devotions, the Lord's Prayer, the 23rd Psalm the Beatitudes.  Make them very positive.

Also:  Go to your standards:  The Lord's Prayer, The 23rd Psalm, The Beatitudes (check them out here from The Message translation - makes you feel wonderful), pray, pray, pray, write in your devotional book,  try this:

OK - I thought it was cute!!!

The point is, do what you have to, to get yourself out of your funk.

By the way, this will happen along the way.  You'll have good days (and love them), and you'll have bad days - just like before.  But again, remember we're going to stay focused here - we're digging out of a hole, and you can not let the bad days get you down.  Don't get distressed, just get accustomed to doing "Thought Stoppage" and saying your prayers/devotions/blessings or whatever you can to get you out of this funk.

Here are some wonderful emergency blessings to repeat (remember to write these) or say them out loud if you're alone.

• I am now creating success in an easy and relaxed manner and a healthy and positive way.
• I am now living the life of my dreams in an easy and relaxed manner and a healthy and positive way.
• I am now successful doing what I want to do in an easy and relaxed manner and a healthy and positive way.
• I am sensible and in control of my finances and creating total financial success in an easy and relaxed manner and a healthy and positive way.
• “I am now creating:
  a successful career with      name your favorite vocation    ,
  a successful        your favorite business name     .
  in an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way”

Open your wallet or checkbook and say to it:

• I bless you and bless you and give thanks that 100 times $??? (fill in the $amount that is in your wallet) and it quickly appears so that every financial obligation is immediately and completely met.
• Divine Substance now meet these demands in thine own perfect way.  It is mine and now quickly appears.

Keep saying this till you feel better. And this does work.

Emergency List: When you're in a calmer mood and more grounded, make up some affirmations, videos, movies (get on YouTube and do a search for some scenes from your fav movies, then download them from YouTube Downloader and put them on your computer (the downloader will also convert them to a mov [QuickTime] or wmv [Windows Media] files for you or put them on your Nano, iPod or iPhone.) Have them ready for a quick pick-me-up for when the demons grab you quickly.

Even better, when you have some good news or have a good feeling (and you will), quick, do some brief journaling about how you feel - what can you do?....what do you want to do?...what can limit you?...think about your every movement and track yourself as you are experiencing these good feelings.  Write it all down.  Be as analytical as possible. This can be an invaluable resource for when the mean reds hit!

I promise this works - it's almost magical.  Be prepared for some magical events in your life.

You also need to know that if you practice your meditations, prayers and affirmations on a regular basis these "emergency" moments will happen less and less even though you may appear to be in a higher stress environment- sort of like the moment doesn't distract your focus.

After you've finished and are more grounded, say a prayer, thanking God for all his help.

Thankful

A friend once gave me a wonderful acronym for praying:  ACTS.  She said that she often started praying like this:

"Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful day, and the flowers that are growing, and remind me I need to go get some fertilizer and after I do that I need to get the battery fixed in the car, and then thank you for the birds, and I should put some water in the bird bath....." and before you know it, she's off in left field and forgot the reason she was praying.

This happens, we humans aren't perfect (news flash, I know, but there you are - another pearl and aren't you glad you tuned in today!!!)

Changes

Changes are essentially scary.  In classical psychological terms, the id hates change and will do anything, including playing with your worst demons, to keep from change.  Why does id hate change?  Because it is unknown.  Even change for the better - it is unknown and the very first thing out of id's mouth is NO CHANGE!

OK - so we understand where the fear comes from.

This makes it a little easier to deal with - doesn't mean it will go away quickly, but at least you know you aren't going nuts.

The List, Part 5

Ok - this is the last one, I promise, but this is delicate and important.

Our goal here is to stay focused on these goals.  Anything that takes you away from that, you must remove.  Now, don't get carried away.

If your spouse or significant other doesn't understand or what to understand, that's OK.  You just can not say a word to him/her about this. You don't need to hear everything that's wrong or won't work - all that pragmatic stuff - your demons will do enough of that.

If you have friends who laugh at you, fine, don't discuss this with them.

If you have family who can't get their mind around what you're doing, you do not need to say anything to them.

If they persist upon asking you, you can choose to say nothing - not answer their prying, or you can make it clear to them, that they have their choice of looking at something, and you have yours, and you understand that they aren't in agreement, and that's OK with you, and hope that they would feel the same way:  that because you aren't in agreement with them, they can accept that and go on down the road.  It doesn't have to be a deal-breaker.

Here's the delicate part.

If it is a deal-breaker.....if you do receive an ultimatum, you might want to wonder why he/she/they are so fired up to make this a huge mountain.  Basically you are using some tried and true methods of Christianity and faith-building to get you through a very hard time.  There is nothing strange, odd, new or foreign about this.  It is certainly not off-balanced (although it may appear to be so simple-minded that it may appear it wouldn't/won't work). 

I am not here to tell you how to run your life.  All I would want to do is make suggestions, and I would like to suggest that if someone wants you to give up your faith-driven beliefs to "save" a relationship, the relationship might need some looking into.

Please seriously consider discussing this with a professional.  Praying, asking, seeking, knocking and believing are not weird symptoms of behavior.  It might be good to ask some other questions regarding the relationship.

If you feel that your relationship is more important than this work, so be it.  Your faith-driven work here will always be interrupted by this relationship especially if it's an "either/or" ultimatum.

You can also pray about this.  This is the beautiful thing about the Holy Trinity, Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.  That Holy Spirit is the God in you.  He will talk with you and guide you through this.

Most often, people won't make that much of it.  The worst that may happen is that they may think that you're a pie-in-the-sky type person, or you haven't got all your oars in the water.  So what?  What did they say about so many inventors, entrepreneurs, and other pathfinders in history?....the same thing.  You just don't discuss it with them and do your devotions and meditations on your own.  But no worries, while they are floundering around, and probably more likely, not expecting that much of themselves or life in general, you will be not only surviving, but flourishing. 

If you do mention this to friends and family and they understand, it's great to have someone to share this with.  You can share the surprises and be in awe together of the unbelievably good fortune that is coming your way.  You can talk about how things seem to magically fall into place for you, while others are having a terrible time.  While others are making excuses about the economy, you don't have to worry about that - God is worrying about that for you.  All you have to do is believe.

There is nothing more fun than having someone to share this with, and someone as well to lean on and for you to be leaned on.  The more the merrier, just as long as they are open to the belief that this works.  If you feel more comfy with just a few friends, fine.  If you like more, that's fine as well.

OK - believe it or not that's the finished part of my "List" Series.

I will let you rest for a while, then start on some basics.  In the meantime:

Start that list!

The List, Part 4

So here we are:

There are 3 basic ways to do this:

1. Write it down (by hand - not typing it on a keyboard - as explained below)
2. Making your dreams visual - this is going to be fun
3. Focusing and re-focusing - believe it or not, this will be natural

First, start writing down your dreams - what you want to accomplish.  Get used to doing this.  There's something magical that happens when you're writing, with your hand on paper, that doesn't happen on the keyboard.  I do not know what it is, and I wish I did, cause I tried the keyboard - it's actually my preference, but it doesn't work like handwriting.

I usually save about 15 minutes in the morning to do this.  These are my morning mantras/blessings.  I have some here as a suggestion.  You don't have to use music.  For me music is my first language, it is music that soothes the savage soul.

Get into the habit of doing this for 15 minutes every day.  They work wonders.

Next, it's time to do some visualizing...this means pictures - visual stuff.  Can't draw?...no worries.
Can't visualize?...that's OK too. 

Go to your list of "I wants"...things that you want - they are your goals, a house that looks like the one you want to live in; a boat;  a farm;  a car;  you accepting the Nobel Prize - whatever it is, let's go to magazines and pick out some pictures of what you want.  Now we're going to glue them up so you can see them.

Here's an example of what I mean - I have a shopping center and I wanted it to be full leased, so I have a picture I morphed on my computer with the tenants I wanted, and the parking lot full.  Guess what?...it's full!  I have a picture of the car of my dreams, I have a picture of the home of my dreams, I love to dive, so I have pictures of me and my dive buddy on boats diving in all different locations.  I have a picture of me accepting the Congressional Medal of Honor from a future person I would like to see president of the US.  See what I mean?  This can be a lot of fun and it's heaven for your brain chemistry.

After you make it up, put it in a prominent place.  Since I'm a geeky sort of person, I have most of my images electronically stored, and I just make them into a collage and keep it on my desktop on my computer. 

I also make little "Garage Art" cubes, see here for an example,and here for a form to make your own.  Get creative, and have fun with this.  It doesn't have to be a Picasso - this is for you.  It should mean something to you.  My "Garage Art" means something specific to me - all the symbols and emblems on it mean something to me.

See the bottom for more about where Garage Art came from!

But onto our project here - the next thing and final thing to do, is to remember that this is new to you.  Remember you are being barraged 24/7 by negative stuff, and you're digging out of that hole.  That means you're going to have to get focused about something that you haven't thought about and are not being encouraged to think about...."Good Grief, if you can't at least find a job, then you can at least act like you're looking for a job.  Can't you at least do something besides cutting pictures out of magazines?"  Well, you actually are doing something - now don't spend 24/7 doing this, it doesn't take that long, but do not let anyone take you away from this.

This brings me to tomorrow's post:  the 4th step.....

For more on Garage Art - see here

The List, Part 3

Now comes the really fun part - even more fun than thinking about what you want to do and what you want your end result to be - goals.

Now let's start focusing on these so that they become a part of your life.  They are not only going to be close to you, they are going to be second-nature.  But you're going to need some reminding.

Reminding?...of what I really want?  Huh?

Out in the world, while you're fighting through whatever is going on with you, there's going to be lots of outside stimuli that will be telling you things like:

• Holy Cow!  What are you doing?
• Good Grief!  Are you crazy?
• Are you going to ever get another job?
• (OK have you forgotten your dreams?...have them been drummed out of you yet?....wait...)
• When is this economy going to turn around?
• How can I possibly pay my bills this month?
• What can I sell to make ends meet?
• You have got to have a screw loose to be thinking (fill in the blank here - doesn't really matter!)

Well, you get the idea - it's pretty rough out there and everyone is going to know better than you how to solve your problems.

Let me tell you something right here - start this here - you know YOU better than anyone.  Trying to please someone else is NOT going to get you what you want (I know it's a "duh" statement, but worth repeating here).  In addition, this whole process of working on your life's fulfillment will not work if it is not what you really want.  If you have chosen something to please someone else - your spouse, parents, children?  Then ain't gerna happen for you!

OK - so the world is being cruel to you right now and not very supportive - this is why you need all the help (and reminding) you can get. 

There are 3 basic ways to do this:

1. Write it down (by hand - not typing it on a keyboard - I'll explain later)
2. Making your dreams visual - this is going to be fun
3. Focusing and re-focusing - believe it or not, this will be natural

One more rule here.  We're talking about positive and healthy list-making.  We're not talking about revenge, retribution or wishing for something bad or evil to happen to another.  This process does not work that way.  If you are having these thoughts, give them up.  They are healthy nor are they productive and if anything they get in the way of your moving toward the goal of achieving the fulfillment of your dreams and wishes.

More about these tomorrow.  But if you want more detailed information about the reminding - check below.

The List, Part 2

One of the most important things you will do is make your list. 

What do you want?  What do you want to do?  What do you want to accomplish?  What are your goals? 

Don't have any?....well, get some.

Start with your dreams - hopefully they haven't been visited in so long you have forgotten them, if they have, then take some time to go back to your childhood and think about what excited you.  When your Grandmother asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, what did you say?

Does it sound ridiculous today?  Well, pare it down, what excited you about being this or that?  Did you say: fireman, policeman, tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor?....doesn't matter.  There was something about what you wanted then as a child that appealed to you - distill it to that "something" and that's what you go after.

OK - now we have what you want to be, let's think about what do you want to accomplish, which should be easy after you've figured out what you want to be.  Remember this is what you want, not your older sister/brother, friend(s) or anyone else - this is your life we're talking about.

This doesn't have to be glamorous.  I had a very glamorous life, and when the bust of the 80's hit, I needed to start my own company.  I loved sewing (still do).  It's puzzle solving - it's about math and art - for me it's fabulous.  Nothing could be more fun than designing fancy clothes and making them up.  But it sounds rather pedestrian, and when I started my company, many friends and family were secretly disappointed and felt that I was selling myself short.  About a year after starting I did my first debutante gown contract, and I was off and running.  I was the designer to the stars in my little city and couldn't think of anything more fun.  So don't make any rash judgments on your vocation - just make sure it's what you want.

Now you have what you want to do, and you have what you want - the end result....(sort of like reading the last page of the novel - and it's OK, even encouraged this time!)  Actually you have to know where you want to end up, so that you know you're on the right path toward that goal - funny how things work out like that!

Next is what you want to accomplish - this is not how you're going to accomplish, but what you want to accomplish.  This will help you focus on what you want and what you want to do.  Sounds sort of repetitive, but it's not.

All of these: 1.) what you want to do, 2.) what you want (end result), and 3. what you want to accomplish, will change a lot at first, until you get them narrowed down to what is really most important to you.  You've just started thinking about this, so it may take a while to get this list focused.

***********

Next is starting to put this all together!

Wow! Almost a month.....

The end of the year and start of a new year brings up many new beginnings - a chance to start over again.  It's a busy time.

And after the last year, that's what we all need.

Actually this is a good time, now that some of the shock has passed, to talk about cleaning out and doing a little pruning.  It sometimes flies in the face of Christianity why bad things happen to good people, but it happens;  it's happened in the past, and it will happen in the future.  Almost every time is a chance to learn from these "things", and if we don't learn them the first time, God is real good to us, cause He will always give us another chance to learn it again.

Upheavals, adversities, collapses, and just change in general can be the perfect opportunity to not only start again, but to learn from the mistakes of the past -  - to wipe the slate clean and start again.  These chances are few in our lives (hopefully), so it's good to use them when they come.

There's something else to think about here too.  This is a chance to renew and grow deeper with a relationship with God.  As we all know, it's during times of stress or troubles that we really grow close to our Lord, which isn't something that we should feel guilty about, just accept it and accept the joy, kindness, generosity, bounty and unsurpassed attention and love that God can bring to us individually and to our lives.

So get out there and enjoy this time of renewal, and begin again.  You won't have to start at the very beginning, unless you want to, but this does give you a chance to asses what you were doing before, and ask:  Is it really what I want to be doing?...am I following my bliss?...or am I just doing what others think I should do?  This is the perfect opportunity to ask those questions and to answer them honestly.  If you are not doing what you want, change it NOW.  The way to be really successful is to do what you want - what you enjoy doing - treat yourself to a luxury beyond belief and enjoy your life AND your work!

Start by forming your dreams and wishes into a wish list and making them visual....that's for tomorrow.

For right now, get your list in your head - we're going to start to work on getting it done.