How to Navigate Bad Times

Been absent, but active

I haven't posted here in a while, and have been active - which is the next step.

At one point when you are starting a change in your life, which means you are realigning your goals toward your dreams...IOW, empowering yourself to transform your dream into reality.  This is really big stuff, and requires a completely different mindset.

That's where all this "ask, believe, receive" comes from. (Matthew, Mark, John)

The very first thing you have to do is ask.  This means you have to get straight about what YOU really want, where you really want to go, what you really want to be, what you really want to have.

The next thing you have to do is believe.  This means you believe that you can do this.  This means that sometimes, this goes against what may appear to be reality.  This is the Einsteinian part of all this...Einstein said that time is relative...everything has already happened to us, we just don't know it.  That sounds like a play on words but it's really not.  This is also what that Leap of Faith is all about.   This is also the Leap of Faith part.  You have to have faith and believe it so strongly, that no matter what mayhem maybe appearing around you, you believe it.  (There's a personal anecdote here at below the line at the bottom, to illustrate this.)

This gets into how sometimes we can get so beat down by circumstances that we let those circumstances take control instead of us taking control of our circumstances. 

But once you have done this, and gotten your head straight, so to speak, that's not the end of this.  The next part can be verbalized and labeled many ways, but basically it is action.  You must have your head straight before you begin the action part but you must have the action.  You can not go out flailing around trying to do this or that, just to take "any" kind of action.  Your action must be specific, sure and dynamic.  You must take that believe, vision, energy, passion and direct it into action.  Simply because having the good mindset is not enough. 

This action is different from action you have taken before that has been so fraught with failure.  This action is different because it is backed up by YOUR passion, YOUR desire, YOUR belief...that is what makes this so different.

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Toward that end, there is a wonderful video posted by Henry Cloud.  It is on Facebook - I know you have to know your settings, and once you do, then it's safe (and don't join any of those Aquarium or Farm games - they're the ones infiltrating your files to find out more info about you).  Once you're on Facebook, or if you already are, then you can "friend" Henry Cloud (and I'd friend John Townsend too), and poof, periodically these little LPV's (low-production videos appear).  This latest one, Motivation, is a gem.  Henry goes through this whole process from asking, believing to action and draws all of it together in a meaningful and smooth way that makes so much total sense.

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OK so where are we on this great trek.  Hopefully you've learned something with my little missals here, but also it has caused you to explore outside where you originally thought there were possibilities.  Also this has given you the strength, faith, motivation and clarity to step outside your sphere of knowledge and comfort and explore the world and its possibilities.

The world is your oyster.

Some of my fav links

There is no "link" page on here, so here are some of my favorites:

Notice the menu on the left where you can do passage, keyword or topical look ups.  You can also select which Bible version.  This little site is really powerful and very useful.  I use it for links (specific scripture, etc.) all the time.

Another favorite link is Pray as you go:

This is so wonderful on your iPod or iPhone, but you don't have to have this to listen to these little gems.  This site also has the background on the music.  There are daily (Mon - Fri) podcasts which are wonderful for first-of-the-morning putting your head in a meditative and prayer state.  It's a calm, gentle way to start the day.  They are about 11-15 minutes long.

More on Centering and Grounding

So what's so important about centering and grounding and why is it important to know about it and practice it?

Allowing your mind to be concentrated enough to focus on your goals is key to preventing scattered-brain, unfocused, disjointed, and then spiraling out of control.  And any of you who have been through tough, stressful, trying times, know what I'm talking about...there always seems to be the demons knocking at the door trying to drive you out of your mind with fear and intimidation.

Fear and intimidating will kill anything positive.

Fear will take away any good energy in a split second.

Fear will remove you from the place you want to be into a dark abyss that is never-ending.

Fear is something you need to get away from quickly, and it can overcome you quickly if you let it.

The purpose here is to arrest it before it gets a start.

Fear is like a horribly addictive drug...what if's, shoulda's, oughta's, coulda's and uh-ohs are not going to give you the results you want.

So how do you get out of this?

Practice some quick and easy techniques.  Practice, practice, practice.

Here's a typical outline for meditation:

1. Start breathing deeply - into your stomach (not your chest) and allow your stomach and diaphragm to move...we want your body to move so your breath can feel your core.  You should be sitting down or laying down.
2. Concentrate on breathing for a couple of minutes - in and out calmly, slowly and deeply - at least 10 deep breathes.
3. Start relaxing from the top of the body to the bottom - head, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, diaphragm, pelvis, thighs, legs, feet.
4. Now let your body sink even further into the chair or chaise or bed.
5. Picture a white light or white flowing substance above your head, and it is going to move like a thick rich liquid through you body, starting with your head, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, diaphragm, pelvis, thighs, legs, feet.  It's going to fill all these areas and make your whole entire body glow from within when each part is filled.
6. Now think of the specific goals, desires you want to accomplish - health, wealth, friendship, purpose, whatever it is.
7. Allow yourself some time to just float with what you have accomplished and congratulate and acknowledge what you have done - in this session.
8. Close the session by gently returning to either wake up or drift off to sleep.

That's it.  Doesn't this sound just dreamy - OK bad joke - but I love doing this, and it usually takes about 15 to 30 minutes.

From these steps you can even make your own meditation tape/mp3 and have it say exactly what you want.

There are some other helpful techniques tomorrow.

Centering and Grounding

Centering and grounding are two vital techniques used toward this process of focusing on your goals and achieving them...blossoming in difficult times  - BDT!!!

I talk a lot about the spiritual process here.   However, centering and grounding are techniques are more physical and lend themselves to putting us all in a place where we can be more spiritual and meditative.

Centering and grounding are terms that refer to the process as a result of relaxation and meditative techniques.  They are not the end result, but like meditation and relaxation lead toward clearly focusing on your goals.

Centering refers to keeping your focus toward the center of your soul and spirit, while grounding allows you to remain calm even in the most difficult circumstances. 

Centering is focusing on that calm center part of your experience.  Getting in touch with that calmness that lies at the center.  We each have this - I call it the God in all of us.  It is our sanctum sanctorum where no one but God and you exist.  It is the closest thing to heaven on Earth that we can have.

Grounding is more physical - it's literally remaining rooted and unflappable while the wind is at tornado speeds.  The best way to describe this is that man is the bridge between the physical and metaphysical.  We can exist in both planes, whereas thought can not be physical and deed can not be metaphysical, but with man, thought & deed can be one.  But as this conduit, we can not be disconnected from either...we must remain grounded while we are dreaming, or we are out of balance.  But this is God's purpose for us - to constantly remain in balance while trying to balance two dichotomous forces.

You can begin to get an idea of how hard this is, but with practice and information, it is very possible.  It doesn't require a PhD from Harvard or Oxford (do you get PhD's in Oxford - oh well, for now, let's just say you do!!!)

But it requires will and resolve and with practice you can get very good at this.

Tomorrow I'll do some more explanation and then some practice exercises.

Thinking outside your normal zone

This seems so normal, and yet in our day to day existence, it can be very threatening feeling and just downright scary;  actually it's more like scaring the daylights out of you.

But we never seem to step out and do what we never thought we could without this thinking outside your normal zone. 

Not only does it make for thinking and doing in a different way, but it becomes very empowering. 

It's important to sit back sometimes and move away from the daily routine and concerns, and think about what you've accomplished and what all you've done.  There are two things that can help get your mind in the right place when you do this:

1. being in a thankful mood, and
2. using calming and relaxing techniques to get centered and grounded.

This "thankfulness" mode is so interesting, cause it not only reminds us of what all we've accomplished, but reminds us of what all we have.  This is certainly not to invoke or infer that we shouldn't want more or we shouldn't want to strive for more, it's only to remind us that we have come a long way and to remember that we are all on a path.  It also helps us to be more introspective which lends toward grounding and centering.

It is also a process that enables us to be in a better frame of mind to concentrate on what we want.  I know that sounds dichotomous, but it really is true.  Being thankful, takes all the fear and foreboding out of our lives, and puts us in a more open and positive mind set.

Once we are free of that fear and intrepidity, we can trek down those roads into areas and parts of our lives that we never thought we had, much less could actually live in and do!

Staying on tract

Most of the techniques and practices I've talked about in this blog are basic and fairly easy.  Some of them may be hard to understand why they are so important, although I've tried to lay that out as plainly as possible, but basically these are simple techniques.

We start the hard part.  This does not involve anything to do with a doctorate from MIT, but it is just as difficult and here is where we separate the men from the boys.  This is where you can clearly excel and certainly step out of the cycle of negativity into abundant success in whatever endeavor you choose:  successful business, successful social relationships, successful love life, successful weight control - anything you want.

What I'm talking about here is stamina, sticking to your dreams and not letting go of them.

Clearly this is much easier to do if your dreams are what really mean something to you;  if you are clearly "following your bliss".  If you are following someone else's dreams, not only will it be hard to focus, but you will always have a terrific uphill battle that you will not win.  It's just that simple - you won't get there.

This is a definite sign (if it's hard to do visualizations on your goals) that your goals aren't really what you want and you are not following your bliss.   When, after you understand how, the visualizations come easy once you practice doing them regularly.  This is one of those "ah-ha" moments....when the visualizations come easy and of course then they start working.

This stamina is going to be hard enough as it is without any hindrances, so let's make this as simple and easy as possible.  By using your affirmations, any videos or audios to enhance that, praying, meditation and constantly thinking and reminding yourself of your goals and the affirmations that you have written out, you can maintain your belief and good feelings through all sorts of ups and downs that will come your way. 

This is where the big difference is made.  This is where you set out the path your life is to follow.  This is how you set your attitude to a positive direction.  This is how you affect your future.

If you succumb to those negative outside influences that are part of the maddening crowd:  Oh you can't accomplish this...thinking one way is going to make things another?.....I don't think so....what sort of nincompoop are you for being so simple-minded?....wake up and smell the coffee - things are the way they are and can't be changed, believe me you will never succeed.  You will be drawn off your focus, your goals and certainly off your target.

But the exact opposite is just as true:  if you believe, "All things are possible through God....I can have and deserve God's prosperous abundance....I have permission from God to enjoy my hard labors and as long as I keep God and Christ utmost in my heart and do not worship two gods (money & God), my perspective will be balanced, my life will be fulfilled and satisfying.

There are way too many divergences that can bring us off tract - on the outside of our awareness and on the inside.  Both need our attention.  This may seem hard, but it is strictly practice. 

Fear is probably the biggest culprit in taking you off target.  And it happens a lot of different ways...fear of action (anything/everything I do could be a terrible mistake), fear of inaction (if I don't do something it could be wrong), fear of thought (everything I think is fearful), fear of thinking period (if I start thinking, it will be fearful so why think or fear of thinking).  Good grief - that just about covers everything except breathing and you start letting fear get a hold on you, then pretty soon you'll have yourself fearing breathing:  "Don't breathe, it might be poisonous!"

Well, that might be the case, but people - if you DON'T breathe, you will definitely die!!  That's sort of a "Duh!" statement, but let's go further...Being frightened all the time of everything is just as inappropriate as not being afraid of anything.

The second divergence to your goals is lack of practice.  This sounds simple, but it is the simple practice of affirmations, prayers/meditations, revision of your list and the almost obsessive concentration of your dreams, goals and desires, that keeps fear from knocking on your door and pretty soon fear is so far away from your home, that it's almost a stranger.  What a fabulous idea!

So practice at saying no to those negative influences, both inside & out, is a must.  And practice your daily positive visualizations, meditations/prayers/affirmations and revision of your list if needed. 

One of my most favorite person in history is Winston Churchill, who fought depression (more about all of his history below which is really fascinating), said: "Never, never, never, never give up!"

Remember that and stay focused and on track.

Further notes follow.

Vision Board: Some Aside views

There are a few things I just glanced over in the last number of posts that probably deserve some clarification and definition.

God's participation in all this.  A lot of people think that asking for financial success, freedom, or abundance is not what God wants.  I do not believe that God created us to suffer.  That doesn't mean that we don't have dark times along the way, and it doesn't mean that if you are perfect you will be guaranteed happy times.  But God does want us to accomplish our goals and fulfill our dreams and that only comes through effort, attitude, thinking clearly and belief in Him. 

Do you believe that just because something doesn't come to you instantly that you are not meant to attain it or accomplish that task?  If you do believe that, release that thought from your mind right now. 

Do you believe that we were set on this Earth to only suffer?....to have to endure all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune without enjoying the fruits of our labors?....to accomplish nothing?  Granted we find horrible acts and events around us daily.  We have experienced or been close to awful events - young people dying too soon, people suffering horribly, and yes this is a part of the world that we live in, but these events can not make us believe that this is supposed to be "normal".  Are we meant to live in this world of doom and gloom all the time?  Do you believe that our whole purpose on this world is to "suffer" through horrible events?

People, this just isn't true.  God wants to keep everything in perspective.  Hoarding your money is not Godly nor has it ever been.  But are we to say that the successful and prosperous Kingdom of Israel was evil?  It is just as much abnormal for things to go perfectly all the time as it is for things to go horribly all the time?  We will always have dark times and they will always lead to times of light. 

Granted there is an unfoldment that must take place for us to experience this joy of fulfillment and to have our heart's desire, but to say that He, our Father, does not want to have a fulfilled and prosperous life, is just incorrect....even in the passage following the rich man entering heaven compared to a camel going through a needle, there is a whole paragraph talking about how all things are possible through God.

And as far as hearing what is in our hearts...God does want to fulfill our heart's desires, and tells us so.  This is the follow up to the Ask, Seek, Knock passages.

This is so comforting - and all we have to do is believe.  That's where these exercises and techniques help us.  They certainly aren't cheating, unless you consider turning off the TV & Radio so you can pray and/or meditate better qualifies as "cheating".  These are simple techniques that we can learn to use that will give us a step up.

So think of this whole exercise as practice of becoming the person that God wants us to become and that He knows that we can become by believing in Him.  Not only is He willing to show us the way, he's also willing to be our main support;  he's also going to figure out how it's going to be done and will let us know in His own time.  In the meantime, we believe, are patient and have faith.

Here's a very comforting and uplifting parting thought for this post from Matthew 5 (right after the Beatitudes!)

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Vision Place: What's next

Yep, you guessed it - I couldn't get this follow up to my initial Vision Place post with just one post - what sort of blogger do you take me for any way?!!!  Excuse me - if nothing, I'm verbose!!!!

So to the subject

What's next...OK  - you got your vision place - you've got your super-charged-up "Ideal Day" and you're on track and you're beginning to feel good (aren't you....if not, check that list!)

So what's next....

Step into Mister Peabody's Time Machine, Sherman, and I will show you!!! 

Go through and read your narrative of your perfect day.  After that, close your eyes and do some serious meditation where you visit your perfect day.  Feel the feelings you wrote about, taste, feel, touch, sense what all is in that ideal day.  Spend some time visualizing that perfect day and experiencing how it will make you feel.

People, this is about as powerful as it can get.  If you can do this on a consistent basis, you have a lot of the battle won.  No matter what horrible things come in your path, go to your perfect day to get that bad feeling(s) out of your system fast.

This can be an immediate jump start for when you feel that you are stymied or just not progressing;  for when the mean reds jump up and attack you all on one day; for just when you need that extra umph; or when you know you're overcome with bad feelings and not sure how to get them out of your system.  This is that secret weapon you have against all this.

Don't forget to bring God on this trip with you.  He can help you with your visualizations, but you must "be still, and listen" to get his responses.  All of this meditations and stillness can come in as terrific support during that time when you most need it.

Vision Place: Some simple how to's

OK - yesterday I tried to define this Vision Place, and the best description or definition I can give you is that if your visualizations, meditations, prayers and work you are doing is either not coming as quickly as you liked or it is extremely difficult, this is a sure sign you're trying to put a square stick in a round hole!  IOW, go back to your wish list.  Please make sure that your wish list is only filled with those things that are important to you and are what makes you feel good.

Good feelings is the reading you're looking for.  That's the measure-o-meter that will tell you you're on the right track.

OK - having done that here are some ideas for your "Vision Place"

1. Sit down and write down at the top of your paper the target date of your ideal day.
2. Now start writing about your ideal day......how do you start (hopefully by your affirmations, meditations, etc.,), what do you do next - remember this is your ideal day, so if getting up and going to your hum-drum job is what you are doing now, but you do not like it, put down what you do like - the job you want to go to.  Where/what do you do for lunch?....how is your afternoon spent?....what do you accomplish on your ideal day?....who do you spend time with?....how do you spend that time?....how do you feel about being with that(those) person(s)?.....what mood are you in?....what do you like about this day?....what inspires you?....you get the idea.
3. Make sure all of this is in the present tense.
4. Be sure and make this inspiring....make it so that it means something to you.  If sitting at a near-by pond on a perfect day inspires you early in the morning for meditation....go for it;  if listening to classical music while you are working inspires you...that's your deal!  Make it inspiring.
5. Make this REAL.  This isn't a dream, you're going to believe this and make it real.  You can taste, touch, feel, sense everything about this day, cause that's what you're going to do next.
6. Make your day powerful.  You are empowered and can create anything - that is very powerful, so make your ideal day very empowered.

This whole process may sound like folly, but this gets you into those good feelings....those good feelings are going to keep you in that faith and belief mode that is going to further you down the path toward accomplishing your dreams and fulfilling your life goals.

I know you know this, but I'll just briefly say that if your list is made up of things you think others' want for you, it won't work;  if your list is made up of negative things you want to happen to someone who has been negative to you, it won't work;  if your list is made up of things that are negative to you - for whatever reason (you feel you don't deserve any better, you're not worthy, etc.), it won't work.    Remember, this is your list!

Enjoy this process and if your list is made of the things you want, this should be easy as pie, and very much fun for you.

Have fun!

Vision Place: Back to life

Now that we're over the wonderful Easter holiday, we can get back to life.  And thank heavens we have a champion with us now - to the end of the age.  Good grief - is that comforting or what!

OK - back to life.

In our last episode, I left off with What do You Want which is not so much a list of things that would please your mother, spouse or whatever...as it is VERY important that this is YOUR list not anything else.

The reason this is so important is that this is what you will be working from.  If this is something other than what you want, you will be working against yourself..."Oh this sounded good and nice so I think I'll include it cause it makes me look good....or...gee that's sounds like that would be an easy thing for me to want, I'll wish for this....or.....this is the hand I've been dealt so this is what I'm stuck with the rest of my life!"

NONE of this cuts it with your subconscious and you will eventually run into a block that you can not work through.

Phooey on the rest of the world (for this particular moment) and this is your purview, no one else's.

OK, now that we've got that straight, let's progress.

What we're trying to do here is create a whole Vision Place.  A place where you feel you are really in it.  This place fits you so well that you know you are there.  This is very hard to describe, because while you're out here in the real world hearing from the nattering nabobs of negativity, you're supposed to have this rosy and Pollyanna-like attitude!  Yeah right!  Let's get real.

OK then - let's get real.

That's where these tools of affirmations, meditations, prayers, list-making, list-affirmations, Vision-Place creation and creating those feelings of positive and affirming outcomes, all come into play.  This is what gets you through the mean reds - through the nattering nabobs of negativity and onto not only feeling

This is also the same thing that Christ talks about over and over....Ask, Believe and Receive.  Time and time again, all Jesus asked was if the petitioner believes, and always when they did, the miracle was completed. 

Jesus didn't ask us to figure out how the miracle was going to work, or how He was going to make it work, or to analyze what he did, or when it was going to work.  He asked us to believe - that's all.  We don't have to know how our desires are to be accomplished, we just have to believe, and God will figure out the rest.  In His time, our dreams do come true - all of them.

All we have to do is ask and believe....that's what this whole process is about...practicing that method of believing.  For as evil as we are, if our children ask from us, do we not give them all that we can, then how much will God give us?  For God is our Father, and only wishes to fulfill our dreams and goals.

So all we have to do is create this place where we believe so strongly that nothing can dissuade us from our dreams.  What kind of magical place is this?  How can we possibly create this?

It comes with practice and with faith.

• Practice it over and over and the more you do, the easier it becomes and more successful the outcome
• Faith in your beliefs, in God's timing and will to accomplish what you have asked for.

The practice allows us to remember and the faith allows us to believe that no matter what God is always working for us and is always working on our "project."

There are some concrete steps to take, which will follow in the next post(s) (sorry I usually can't get this out in one post), but if you get nothing else out of today's post, get this:

If your Vision Place, or visions, or dream list meditations, prayers and visualizations are coming slowly or are hard or do not come at all, revisit your list.  Your Vision Place should be something that you love to do.  Let's not talk about whether you think it's what someone else wants for you (no matter how well-thinking), or whether you think it's frivolous or not "good enough" or any of that other malarkey that the mean reds can think up in your noggin to keep you from discovering your true dreams.

Your Vision Place is a place/task/situation that you relish; you enjoy; you treasure and most of all you look forward to being in every day.

That's your Vision Place.